Signs of a Toxic Relationship
Signs to Look For
According to Carla Marie Manly, PhD, author of Joy from Fear states, “toxicity symptoms can range from being hardly perceptible to being quite prominent, depending on the nature of the connection”. Remember this as you make new connections and build upon current ones - poisonous people sometimes may come across as the perfect antidote.
Here are some of the most common signs to look out for:
1. A lack of support
Healthy relationships are built on a shared desire to see the other thrive in all areas of life. But when conditions deteriorate, every accomplishment turns into a contest.
In other words, it doesn't feel good to be with you anymore. They don't make you feel encouraged or supported, and you can't rely on them to stand up for you. Instead, you can feel as though they only care about what they want and don't care about your wants or interests.
2. Harmful communication
Most of your talks are dominated by sarcasm or criticism and driven by contempt, which is a divorce predictor instead of warmth and respect for one another.
Do you ever notice your partner making rude comments to friends or family? Or when you’re in another room, they might ridicule you by mockingly repeating what you said. To avoid the ensuing conflicts and antagonism, do you find yourself avoiding communicating your thoughts and beliefs because they differ from your partners?
3. Jealousy or envy
Even though it's acceptable to feel a little jealousy every now and again, it can become problematic if jealousy or your partner prevents you from appreciating your partner's accomplishments.
The same is true of envy. It is a completely normal human emotion, yes. However, when it results in ongoing mistrust and suspicion, your relationship may start to deteriorate fast.
4. Controlling Tendencies
Does your lover frequently inquire as to where you are? Maybe when you don't respond to their texts right away or when they keep texting you until you do, they get agitated or annoyed.
These actions may be motivated by jealousy or a lack of trust, but they may also reflect a need for control, both of which can exacerbate the toxicity of a relationship. These control attempts may occasionally also point to abuse (more on this later).
5. Insufficient self-care
You might abandon your customary self-care routines in a bad relationship.
You might stop engaging in activities you formerly loved, put your health last, and give up your free time. This could be the result of a lack of energy on your part to engage in these activities or your partner’s manipulation by suggesting you don’t need to take care of yourself anymore.
When you are in a relationship it is important to honor your thoughts and feelings and reflect on your needs and wants. Determine if the relationship is adding to your life in a positive or negative way. Are they supporting you and lifting you or is your partner silencing you and taking away from your joy? If you listen to your inner voice, and I mean really listen to your inner voice, you will know if your relationship is toxic and no longer serving you in a positive way.
